I've determined there must be a midget living in my house. And not just any midget, a rather crafty one at that. I'm sure this is the same conclusion most parents have come to, but you don't hear most of them talking about it, so I figured I would start the discussion.
I have proof, don't look at me like that, I have proof! For example, look at the laundry. I do atleast 3 loads of laundry a day and yet it never seems to end. I have more clothes going into the laundry that I think kids are capable of wearing in a week. So this must mean that a midget is wearing my children's clothes and putting the dirty ones in the laundry room when no one is looking.
And then there's the food! Especially the cookies, trail mix, and other fillers that should are only suppose to be eaten as part of the lunches the kids pack. We can buy enough stuff to last for a month, but if it lasts more than a week or two, that's impressive. So said midget is also eating my food.
And we can't forget about the inexplicable messes that suddenly appear in the house and no one is responsible for. I don't think I need to continue, I'm sure everyone agrees that there must be a stealthy midget living in my house.
So Mr. (or Ms) Stealthy Midget, I'm putting you on warning, either start paying some rent, or get out of my house!
That is all.
My borg designation is 2 of 7. My parents raised me LDS, but I'm atheist. My wife loves me, my kids think about it. My dog thinks I abandoned her and sleeps on the couch.