I hate being behind in school.  It pisses me off cause then I just stop doing anything.  I know I can do this, so why don’t I just get off my ass and get to work?  The answer is simple, it’s easier for me to pretend it’s not a problem, and to keep putting it off then it is for me to face facts and do what I need to.

I’ve got a current events response that was due Monday for Sociology that I haven’t done.  Need to do atleast one of the class readings to do the response, and I haven’t done that yet.  Got a revised version of a paper due with research tomorrow, I’ve got a ton of stuff to read for it, books, articles, etc, that I haven’t touched yet.  Makes it interesting to revise the paper.  Got an abstract due for Archaeology tomorrow too, haven’t even gotten the article I’m going to read yet!

I know I can do this stuff.  I’ve got the time to do it, I just keep wanting to do it later instead of doing it now..  I tell myself I thrive under pressure, but it’s a dirty lie, I just freak out more and go to sleep scared..  I tell myself I can’t do the work when the kids are awake, cause it’s hard to concentrate, the fact is I’ve never tried, I make it impossible in my mind, I spend all my time doing “other” (read intersplice) things and put off doing any work.

I will start doing better now.  They say that half the solution is a decision, so I have made mine.  The problem is I am not certain how to implement it.  Would probably help if I didn’t get online so much, but then agian I’m not really there, ask anyone who knows me..  I don’t do half the stuff I used to.  I help out on the forums, read news, and chill on im.  Don’t forget the email, I get a lot of spam.  The point is I’m not busy, I just make myself busy to avoid doing what I have to do.

I will stop avoiding my work.  When the urge comes to put off my work, I will turn off the computer, sit down at the table, and do my work anyway.  When I would rather watch a movie, I will do half an hour of homework, then watch a movie, as long as I resume my homework right after my movie.  Homework first.

I will go to the library for an hour after English class and work on homework.  Secluded in the library I will remove available distractions from my mind and view, I will turn off my cell phone and do homework, whether it be research or study, I will not use the computers except to look up books and articles in Voyager.

Maybe it will actually help… Any ideas?

Labels: School

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